For the Sake of Humor
by Supercat
Summary: Ah, sh*t. I ust figured out that I mixed up the chapters to two of my fics. Don't worry, I fixed it.
1. I'll summon the JUJU Gods, anyway.

Hello. I am Supercat and this is my first fanfic, so, if it sucks, insult me. Severly. Many times. To the point where I start crying.  
  
uh... Gainax has a pretty logo...uh... yeah and they own Evanwatchamacallit (lucky bastards)  
  
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For the Sake of Humor  
by Supercat  
  
The setting is in a night club somewhere in New York. The previous act of the evening, an elephant sculpting famous U.S. Presidents out of big globs of earwax, steps off the stage. Has the crowd settles down, Hikari steps onto the stage, mike in hand. She makes sure she has everyone's attention, and starts speaking in a loud, clear voice,"Uh, hello ladies and   
gentleman! I know the schedule says that you were supposed to see Jim Carry and Steve Martin perform Abbot and Costello's, uh..., that funny thing with   
the bases,...but they had to save thousands of common house flies from the cold. So to replace them for this evening are Rei Ayanami and Asuka Langly Sohryu, playing each other."  
  
The crowd settles down, stops beating each other up, goes back to they're seat and starts applauding has Rei and Asuka walk on to the stage.Rei yells(yes, she yells. That is not a typo. She's acting like Asuka,   
remember?),"HEY! YOU! STOP STARING AT MY FACE LIKE THAT, YOU PERVERT!"(someone in the audience starts crying)"And you!",she continues,"my face is over here, not there, you sick BAKA!"she then points to her breasts perpously,  
altough acting as though she doesn't know that she's pointing to the wrong spot.(or maybe the right spot? That's for you to decide)Meanwhile, Asuka's left eye slightly twitches.  
  
Yup, Rei was definetly on a roll, but she made one Wrong Move. The Wrong Move swore revenge on Rei after she declined his request of creating a Wrong Move   
of the opposite sex, then added, "I'll be there on your wedding night."  
(cricket shirps)  
OOOOOOOOOKKKKKKAYYY....  
Well, anyway, she made one wrong move, and that wrong move is, she talked to Asuka.  
"Hey, Wondergirl, you have something to add?" said Rei, regretting it has soon has she said it.(She must'uv been reading the script when she said it)  
As though on cue, Asuka responded, "Hard drive obsolete. Press any key to continue." She then started making computer noises, and compared her (Rei's) personality to several types of wood."...Soin conclusion,"she dead-panned,"Wood is 97% more interesting than my personnality." The audience auplauded at her amazing math skills.  
  
Rei then agrees and says," Quite true. I now have to admit that the only real reason I'm jealous of you Rei is because it's better to have the   
personality of a doorknob, than that of a wild, enraged, mountain goat.""I am sorry. In the past 5:07 minutes," Asuka stated," I have been trying to   
keep track of how many times I have died. Now, there was that time when I was a kid, the time I sacrificed my life,..."  
"Oh, I understand, baka. To tell you the truth, baka, I have been trying to find out, baka, why I am supposedly supposed to be really smart, but, baka, have a vocabulary that consists of baka,antabaka, dumkopf, and I am the best."  
  
Meanwhile, has the girls fling insultes back and forth at each other,(One of which Hikari doges) Hikari stares at them in a combination of faces,from total dibelief to utter hilarity, from awestruck faces to terrorstruck faces,and then sore faces. "Ow!" Hikari cried, "Those strikes really hurt!"  
  
  
  
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Well, that's it. For now. I was thinking that maybe, if people like this fic, that I'd continue it. I was also thinking that I could do the same thing with Gendo and Shinji, Kensuke and Touji, Ritsuku and Misato, or, my favorite, Hikari and PenPen.  
No, Hikari is not my favorite character. PenPen is. Just kiding, I don't know what (not who) my favorite character is, but PenPen is definetly cool.  
Of course if people don't like this fic, or think it's mediocre or something, then I'v got plenty of other ideas, and I'm okay with that. Frankly, when I really think about, it is a sorta stupid idea, my humor is kinda crude (that isn't a bad thing, is it?), and I tottally got everyone out of character, but whatever. Hope you liked.  



	2. uh...

Hi everybody! I suddenly realized that my writing wasn't has crappy as I thought it was. I'm really happy that a lot of people liked my first fic, (in other words, 8 people) and another should comeout before I finish this one. As you all know, or as I wrote in the 'review' section of my fic, I was planning on doing a fic with Gendo and PenPen (cudos to Synaid for the idea), but I think I'll do that one later. This one is with Gendo and Shinji. Sit down and enjoy the show!  
  
4 score & 7 years ago, Gainax founded Evangelion. Which means I didn't.  
  
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For the Sake of Humor, part Deux!  
  
Hikari steps onto the stage and waves, anouncing to the crowd:  
"Goodnight ladies and gentelmen! Tonight we have for you the comedy styles of Janet Reno and that Cuban kid, performing...."  
A man in about his mid-thirties with headphones and a clipboard comes up to Hikari and whispers something into her ear.  
"Oh...." she continues, "Uh... We have received news that they're heads were crushed by 10000 prototype Windows 3000 opperating systems. The police found this note near the cropses:'They were punished for their insolence. Myes... MWHAHAHAhA*cough**hack*....Signed, sincerely with great affection, Bill Gate.' The police and CIA are searching franticly for this BILL GATE. So to replace them tonight are.... uh.... You two!"  
She points to two members in the crowd, who just happen to be Shinji and Gendo Ikari who just happened to be *cough* enjoying the show.  
  
Supercat: Just like how Janet Reno and that Cuban kid 'happened' to be killed by Bill Gates.... oops.... I mean Bill Gate.  
  
"I believe that would be against my wishes. Shinji, put up the LCL pressure." ordered Gendo.  
"Uh.... Think about it this way, Gendo," Explained Hikari,"you can insult your son in an undirect way! I mean since the crowd seemed to enjoy the parade Asuka and Rei pulled off last week.... " They still didn't get the blood stain off the wall.... Oh well.  
" I prefer to insult my son in a direct way, but I suppose it would be.... amusing."  
" Whatever."  
Meanwhile Shinji has been contemplating what was about to happen. ....FATHER'S GONNA INSULT ME IN PUBLIC... BUT I'M GONNA DO THE SAME THING.... YES............ HE'S GONNA FINALLY PAY BACK FOR ALL THE THINGS HE'S DONE TO ME IN THE PAST!! AND IT'LL LOOK LIKE I'M ACTING!!  
"YES!!!!" Shinji screamed at the top of his lungs.  
The audience all stared. Gendo was already on the stage and Shinji was scrambling up as fast as he could. The audience was really surprised Shinji could scream that hard, but they were more surprised how he somehow managed to rip his lungs out, stand on top of them, yell, and put them back in his chest without dying.  
Gendo decided to start. "AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! My father is in the same room has me! I musn't run away... I musn't run away..."  
"Shinji." Shinji interjected." I have a use for you. You will get me two hotdogs, a triple mochachino, and some onion rings... Oh yes, and I want you to pilot a big purple Barney thing that you have never seen in your life before and don't want to pilot."  
"Ok father. I will do anything you tell me to do because I'm a big wussy pansy boy, who probably had a sex change but doesn't know it."  
" I do not appreciate such insolence. Hikari, increase LCL pressure."  
Hikari looked wildly around the room, and then looked naturally around the room, and then finnaly desertly around the room.  
" I hate it when that happens...." she commented.  
" I am big, intimidating, and so, Hikari, when I tell you to increase LCL pressure, you do so. Also note that I never use exclamation points. You are insolent. Gary, increase LCL pressure."Pointed out Shinji.  
Gary (in other words, random person in the audience) exclaimed, "You mean me?"  
"Is you're name Gary?"  
"Uh.... Yes."  
"Then I do mean you."  
"Wow! How did you know my name!"  
"I know everything. I know that in the near futur the world will end due to my own creation, and that tomorrow, your co'workers will call you an idiot."  
"How did you guess! You're psychic!"  
"Hey it's kind'uv funny that you know everything Gendo, because I know nothing." announced Gendo. "As a matter of fact, I'm not even sure if I know that I know nothing."  
"Hey, did you know that I'v slept with the entire female population?" justified Shinji, "And I'v even cheated on my wife, Yui."  
CRAP. THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET, thought Gendo. " I haven't even gone on a date before. I'm like one of those losers you see in movies with the dorky glasses and the out of style clothes." remarked Gendo, " but at least I have a reason to live... it's..... uh............. my reason to live is...... Oh yes. Listening to the same songs over and over and over again on my SDAT. Yea. I'm so miserable."  
"Hey, you know what's funny? I'm the one who made you miserable. Hehe. I'm such a bastard. Well, I should get back to being a cold-hearted jerk just about now.... Let's see..... I'll make a couple of people kill they're best friends and/or lovers...." mentioned Shinji.  
"Hey! That's not funny, that's sad! But I'm not going to do anything about it because I let people put stomp all over me. My guardian, my coleagues, my father... It's really starting to hurt. I'v got foot marks all over my back. In other words, I'm pathetic. I don't even have the guts to take advantage of my superior whenever she gets drunk."  
Suddenly a strange 'warking' noise could be heard in the audience, and PenPen, followed by what seemed to be a hypnotized Misato, came up to the stage.  
"Wark, wark wark, wark sqwack, wark!"cried PenPen.  
"Gendo. I. Have. Been. Looking. For. A. Challenger. Worthy. To. Go. To. The. Stage."translated Misato.  
PenPen suddenly wapps Misato on the head and says some stuff in penguinese. "It was for effect! It wasn't THAT annoying!" Misato said in defense. PenPen then says some more stuff. "Whatever." replies his master.  
"Squwack.... Wark squack, wark wark wark squwack, wark." I think you can guess who said that. It was Shinji! Yup! Wasn't that obvious?  
"Shinji, why are you talking in penguinese?" responded Misato.  
"I don't know."  
Anyway.... PenPen said the same thing that Shinji said. "I don't know"  
BlaBlaBlaBalabLAbla..... Anyway, after long hours of confusing translations, and the author, being me, putting stupid things, Gendo finnaly figured out that PenPen wanted to challenge him in a match of words.  
"Yes. I'll do it. I will challenge PenPen, to win the New MTV category, Best Flamer." answered Gendo to the sleeping crowd.   
Shinji: "See! I told you he doesn't use exclamation poits!"  
  
And so the battle begins.  
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Oh, well. So much for not expecting anything from me this week. I'm actually really leaving Wednesday. No, I do not mean the girl in the Adam's family. (I love the Tim Burton version!) . Uh... well.... ok.... I don't know what to say. Oh, yes! I remember! I wanted to say that I got several ideas from other fics who's names I can't remember (I guess that means that I DON'T remember ...) , and that I would like to dedicate this fic to my brother, 1penguin, (or in other words, Mathieu), for helping me think up the beggining. Also, one last thing; I wuold like to sare with you this story:  
Mathieu and I are twins. Whenever we tell this information to someone that we don't know, they usually get surprised since I'm a girl and Mathieu's a boy. There's a funny story that goes with that. On the phone, we sound virtually the same, so people usually get us mixed up. ("Oh! This is Chloe? You two sound so alike!")   
At school, there was this new kid named Michael who called Mathieu on the phone EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. And whenever he called, he talked for a long, long, long, long, while. Sometimes, Mathieu didn't feel like talking for a long time. So, one night, Michael called, and asked to speak with Mathieu. Mathieu picked up the phone and said:  
"Sorry, Michael. This is Chloe. Mathieu is busy."  
"Oh, ok."  
I was in the room when this happened. I yelled at Mathieu for impersonating me and lying to Micheal, even though I thought it was really funny. Mathieu eventually told Micheal it was him, and they ended up talking for a long, long, long, long, while. The End.  
Hoped you liked it. It's a true story. 


	3. The warm up

Umm..... I am currently bashing my head against wall, which is quite difficult to do while writing this fic. It's also quite difficult to do since my chair broke. Oh, yea, and to add to that, I'm calling myself an idiot the whole way. I guess you can call me a multi-tasker. Anyway, I was told by one of the people that read my fic to stop writing it, and that it was shit. This person, whom I would like to call the Baka for now, has just reminded me to write the continuation.  
  
Sorry, no time to do the disclaimer thing, I'm bashing my head against the wall. Wait a minute..... aren't I a 'multi-tasker'? Whatever.  
  
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For the Sake of Bashing My Head Against the Wall  
by Supercat  
  
It was late, late at night in Gendo's pad. He was getting prepared for the fight. In other words, he was getting stone drunk. Yup, you guessed it, Gendo is a master of drunkin' boxing. He knew Jackie Chan in college. Anyway, he seemed to be preparing QUITE well. Gendo, sprawled on the couch, was surrounded by beer bottles, and holding some has well.  
"OOOOOOHHHH!!!!! 29 bottles of beer on the wall, 29 bottles of beeeerrr! Take one down, pass it around, *glug, glug* 28 bottles of.... Hey?! Who drank my beer? Was it you, Mr. Hand?!" chanted Gendo in a drunken voice while talking to his hand.  
(In the morning..... in other words, 3 hours later)  
Gendo stumbled up from his drunken slumber, blinked, and looked at the alarm clock, which had obviously denied it's purpose, since it was 1:56 A.M.  
"Holy Shit! The match starts in 4 minutes!"  
He raced to the car, which was quite difficult, since he had the world record 'worst hangover' of man-kind. Not woman-kind, of course, since Misato proudly holds that position, and since Gendo isn't a woman. Trying to think straight, he put the key in the ignition. It wasn't working.  
"Start, god damn you, START!!!!"  
It obviously wasn't working.  
"This obviously isn't working..." pondered Gendo.  
"HHmmmm....."  
"I have a use for you."  
With that, the car went zooming out of the driveway at 280 miles an hour, surprising it's conducter.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!"  
The car maneuvered faster than a speeding bullet threw every red light possible, grazing threw every short cut possible.  
Fire blazing behind, Gendo's Chevy went reeling to a stop in front of the Mega Super Duper Uber Arena. Has he got out of the car and shut the door, his car collapsed in ashes.  
"Farewell, brave vehicle."  
Trumpets played, Gendo sniffed.  
Going back to reality, He sped past the doors into the arena, panting like a dog.  
Gendo rushed to Hikari and asked: "Where's the entrance?"  
"Why do you want to know?" she questionned.  
"Because the match starts in 17 seconds!"  
"UUhhhh.... Gendo, the match starts at 3:00."  
"Damn it!"  
======================================================================  
  
PenPen was in is room, feeling good about himself. He had it all figured out. He knew exactly how to deal with Gendo. Just playin' it smooth. PenPen figured that he had to find Gendo's weak spot to defeat him (like every opponent), and after long consideration, he determined it. PenPen was envisaging the gold, when, at that momment, a hot servant openned the door to PenPen's room, also called "the shag pad".  
"Uh..Mr. PenPen...", she stutered, "You wanted something?"  
"Squawk, squawk...squwack!"  
"Oh, Mr. PenPen, uh... I mean the "Pen Meister"... you have such a way with words!"  
"squaawk..."  
  
=======================================================================  
(The beginning of the match)  
  
"Hello everybody! As usual, this your is host Hikari, and this is the Mega Super Duper Uber Arena! We're just momments away from the breathtaking flamme match between PenPen the reigning champion and Gendo the challenger!"  
The Mega Super Duper Uber Arena was quite a site.... 10 years of beautiful architectural design, perfected in every way possible... and then that all got flushed down the toilet has the huge Celebrity Deathmatch tower crashed into the arena and slammed onto the ground.  
"Ah shit Johnny, that was one helluva fight!", Nick Diamond said has he struggled to his feet.  
"Yeah, who knew Linkin Park could detach their piercings and turn them into razor blades!" Johnny Gomez responded.  
"Metallica sure wasn't expecting that!"  
They both chuckled heartily, and people stared, stared for a very long time.  
"Uh... Johnny... where are we?"  
"I don't know Nick, but they all have big eyes and strangely colored hair..."  
  
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He.. I'm stalling, aren't I? Don't worry, the battle's coming soon. For those of you who don't know, Nick Diamond and Johnny Gomez are the hosts of Celebrity Deathmatch, a show on MTV made entirely with clay (hey Metallica fans... don't get all pissed... it's just comedy... altough we ALL know that in a Celebrity Deathmatch, Linkin Park would kick ass...). Many fun surprises are coming up soon, after I take my well deserved vacation... in Quebec! That's right folks, instead of having an aching back because of my heavy backpack, I'm going to have aching legs because of lots of skiing! Yay! (don't get me wrong, I love skiing) 


End file.
